Snazzy Babble

We stood by the ocean. He held my hand as though it were an after thought, like a pair of keys he forgot he was holding. The wind blew my dress up to my thighs, but I was too young to know about modesty. We watched the waves rush to meet the shoreline; my breathing was in sync with the oceans. 
Inhale, exhale. 
Inhale, exhale. 
“Do you know what insanity is?” He asked.
Inhale, exhale.
“I think so.”
“What do you think it is?”
“Doing something over and over and over again.” I answered 
Inhale, exhale. 
I watched as the ocean kissed the shore and wondered why the beach never kissed back. 
“Are you insane?” I asked. 
Inhale, exhale. 
Inhale, exhale. 
“I’ll let you know.”

Fireflies are forgotten
When morning comes,
Melodies are reduced
To careless hums.
Loving you—
Is nothing like that.

Sometimes the doors
Don’t open any more.
Windows break
But you still can’t escape.
Loving you—
Is nothing like that.

Dew loves fiercely,
The nights warm air,
Blossoms in winter,
Are lovely and rare.
Dawn escapes
From the mornings’ ashes
And rests over salted stares.
Fingers tangle in woven grasses
Kisses freeze in midnight air—
Loving you is that and more,

These scars are from the night
I ripped out the stitches
That he sewed into my smile.
There from those moments
When your laughter
Made me grin so much
Happiness could rest on my cheeks.

I was told the sun
Would always too be bright for my eyes.
Maybe that’s why
I am lost in the light of your soul.

A hopeless romantic who thinks love’s key;
He claims he just wants people to be happy.
Cupid is the excuse that people use
For putting up with neglect and abuse.
An irresponsible adolescent
Who believes all love should be incessant—
Cupid is a reckless alcoholic
Who doesn’t know when to stop taking shots
It’s time to put down the arrows, kid.
And let impossible loves be lost.

I will write you into my heart.
Graffiti your name on the walls
As a reminder
That anything can be art.

You were a house on fire.
Burning on the inside,
You swallowed the flames like sugar pills.
And though you tried you couldn’t hide
The black smoke that billowed around you and behind your eyes.
I was merely a candle that didn’t burn quite as brightly as I would have liked to.
Because every time I tried someone was always quick to put me out.
Though our friendship came with doubts,
I embraced it like I would any beautiful thing.
For the first time I was close enough to feel the warmth radiate off my skin.
And in a few short moments you let yourself in.
After that night I woke up to find my heart was a firefly and you held the jar.
I let you strip away layers of myself
And the parts of me that had belonged to someone else.
Like the petals of flowers the other girls tossed at your feet,
I fell for you slowly, my stem tied in knots;
“He loves me!”…He loves me not.
The weeks went by where we didn’t speak,
Afraid to admit to the other we were incomplete.
Days went by where I didn’t sleep
Because I was too busy counting my heartbeats,
Wondering how long my body would go before admitting defeat.
You and I both knew about pain,
The kind where there was no one but yourself to blame—
Where you felt yourself shake from the sheer ache
Of knowing you were the one who made the mistake,
Knowing you were the one who let yourself pour out
Like purified water from a rusted spout.
I didn’t know selfless pain until I met you,
The kind where there’s nothing you can do ‘cuz it’s not up to you,
It’s worse than stepping on a Lego or walking in stilettos,
No, this hurt is like an echo.
I can feel it bouncing off my hearts walls enraged,
Trying to slip through the cracks of this locked cage.
When I’m with you I could cry in happiness, laugh in sorrow—
Stubbornly exist until tomorrow
I wonder What worth does this soul possess?
What feelings do these words express?
I’m lost and you are my compass that guides me,
You are the life that defines me.
I’m extremely happy to exist besides you,
For you’re composed of the brightest hues.
And the first time you kissed me
I felt you stitch yourself into every inch of my soul;
It was the first time I had ever been whole,
The first time I let myself lose control.
I found oceans in your eyes that would ignite
Every time you looked at me in the right light,
The flame in them was so vibrant and bright,
That all I wanted to do was drown and burn all at once.
Infinity has never will never and can never be ours to keep,
But still we will promise it because without it what is there left to believe?
Forever is in the way your hand intertwines with mine,
The way not all poems are wrapped in rhymes.
It’s in all those moment when we had to read between the lines.
Our breaths with each exhale whisper “I love you” one more time.
The kisses that I will trace down your spine,
Where hollows meet and greet the shadows with open hands and closed eyes.
Forever is having you—
And knowing that this moment with you is more precious than forever can ever be.
Hair graying, bodies fraying, minds straying,
Our love not once fading, we will have proven ourselves right,
That we did belong together, that we were each others gravity keeping us grounded.
That we were bounded to one another.
In the end both of us better do some serious praying.
For all those times our strength was wavering.
Despite all the fights and all the screams
All the nightmares tucked away in our dreams
I will never question why I bothered staying;
Because if our minds go blank
And you can’t remember my face I know that we will met again and again
As lovers, as companions, as friends.
Because a story like this never simply ends.
So we will stay with one another
Though the only thing we have to gain is each other.
—That will always be enough for me.
Here’s to hoping you agree.

I wrote you this pitiful note
Because You and writing makes me better.
Just a warning before you continue;
Don’t expect anything terribly clever.

I’m glad you love me enough,
To call me a snazzy bitch.
I am also a Canadian Leprechaun,
Who likes to talk like a Brit.

I would chose you over Higgins!
For my love is unconditional…
And because, as we both know,
The lovely man is fictional.

When I walk away,
I do it to bring us closer.
I’m glad you don’t act like your cousin.
‘Cause his girl, well he kinda choked her.

You are the only person,
Whose gotten me in trouble on a bench…
You are also the only person,
Who cannot say no in French.

Your brother fell on a girl,
Now they have two kids…
I couldn’t think of anything that rhymed here,
(But let’s pretend I did.)

I know you think you have,
The body heat of a bear
This statement makes me laugh,
So hard that people stare.

“Oh look! It’s a gymnosperm specimen!”
I’m not sure why that makes you laugh
But I’ll keep saying it to make you happy,
‘cause you’re my better half.

Wow, this note was like frolicking,
Through an overgrown corn field.
Oh well, sometimes speaking in rhyme,
Is the only way I can say how I feel

And So my significant other,
I love you more than you’ll ever know,
Please stay for a little longer,
For I’d hate to see you go.

You were the brightest part of my day. Whenever you peeked down at me from behind clouded eyes my frozen soul would melt instantly. Your warm embrace would engulf me. Ever since I could remember, you were the only one who looked beneath the surface and accepted all of me without regrets. Being with you made me believe in forever. I wish I could have frozen time, so that these moments together never would have had to end.

You couldn’t stay though, because other people needed you. I wasn’t selfish enough to make you stay. That’s why whenever you were around I would cry salty tears, enough to fill an endless sea. I knew you would leave soon and I would be alone until the next morn. We both knew if you were to stay with me all the time, you would wear me down. I didn’t want to be your burden. Winter was the loneliest time for me; you came as suddenly as you left.

It was another bitter night, and I was looking to the horizon in hopes of seeing the outstretched arms of my love. Instead I saw the silhouette of a ship in the distance. I hated ships; they always avoided me. I kept my eyes on the ship and noticed that it wasn’t changing its course. It was heading right towards me. In desperation, I tried to think light—I thought about what you would do at this instance and realized you would welcome it with your shine…I let your sister wrap me up in her moonbeams, and for a few minutes I swear I sparkled.

When the ship hit me I felt myself shatter. Pieces of me plummeted into the water with such an urgency I couldn’t control it. People tried to grasp at my broken parts in an attempt to stay afloat, but like so many before them they let go because my cool disposition was too much for them. I wished I could have told them that frostbites not contagious, and that when two frozen objects.. thaw and freeze together they become stuck to each other, and I can’t think of anything more poetic. I would have said all of these things if my lips weren’t so heavy and if my tongue wasn’t stuck to the roof of my mouth in an attempt to rid myself of a two hundred year old brain freeze. I watched as a young couple fought fiercely over who would float on a broken door—The girl won when she pushed the young man off the raft.

Pieces of me drifted farther and farther. I feared that you would never find me…and I was cold, even for me. I braced myself for the loneliness. I knew that my crystal smile would never again be illuminated by your rays. I decided then that the price of loving is remembering. I promised myself that I would never let my memories of you fade into the background.

Just when I was about to let my thawed heart freeze, I felt the familiar tingle wash over me and looked towards the oceans edge. The sight of you rising against a bruised sky was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Robotics

“You know, I forgive you for not loving me. Really, it’s okay.”

“Really? Why is that, Adrienne?”

“Because I don’t think anyone could love anyone the way I love you.”

“Really? Why is that, Adrienne?”

“Because I loved the idea of you more than I loved the finished product. I put everything I had into making you, and now when I look at you I’m horribly depressed with mself.”

“Really? Why is that, Adrienne?”

“Because I made you too damn, perfect. You always say the right things and that drives me insane. I programed you to take care of me. To cook ramen for me. To finish my sentences for me. To hold the door open for me. To sing me to sleep at night. I programed you to do everything I ever wanted!”

“Really? Why is that, Adrienne?”

“Stop saying that! Because I wanted someone who knew everything about me! But now you only know trivial facts. You don’t know how I feel because you don’t feel anything yourself. I can’t tell you what I think because I was the one who put all the thoughts in your head. I can’t talk to you because I always know what you’re going to say!”

“Really? Why is—”

“‘Why Is that, Adrienne,’ do you ask? Because I made you! I created you and now you are destroying me! You are too damn perfect! We never fight because you don’t have any spirit in you. We never make up because we never break up. And now, when all I want is for you to walk out that door and never come back, you won’t. Why? Because I ordered you to never leave!”

“Really? Why is that, Adrienne?”

“Because I wanted one thing in my life to stay! Just one damn thing…just one.”

“I’m sorry, Adrienne. Don’t be sad.”

“Oh, like you care. You don’t know what sad is. You don’t know what it’s like to feel completly empty because you’ve never been full. You can do everything except for sympathize. The thing is though just like everything else in my life that is bad for me, I love you. I love you I think simply because I can’t have you. That’s a trend with me, you see. It’s impossible for me to have a guy who is both perfect and willing to love me.”

“I love you, Adrienne.”

“No, you don’t. You can’t. I have to thank you though. You’ve made me realize that it’s not love if you don’t have an option.”

“Yes, I do, Adrienne. I love you.”

“No you don’t! Shut up!”

“I love you, Adrienne. I love you, Adrienne. I love you, Adrienne. I love you, Adrienne. I love you, Adrienne—”

“Shit…I should have just bought a vibrator.”