Snazzy Babble

We were sitting on your great grandfathers patio counting how many humming birds were at the bird feeders. Your whole family was talking at once, asking me varying questions. There were the polite, mundane questions: Where are you from? Who are your parents? How long have you been together? Then one of your cousins asked what every romantic wants to know—how did we meet? You explain that you were running late for work and ran out of the house without having a cup of coffee. By your lunch break, you were exhausted and needed to fuel your addiction to the bitter drink. 

“I had just sat down when the small bell above the door rang, announcing someones arrival. I looked up and saw small shoes colored a striking blue step across the barrier, one after another, making a staccato note with each dainty fall against the stone flooring. That’s when I knew that I wanted to know you.” 

Your family smiled for us and you kissed the top of my head. Then you said as an after thought “If I weren’t addicted to coffee we never would have met.” 

It was then that I wondered for the first time how many times we never met.

How often were we on the same subway, both sitting next to a stranger who would never be anything more than a stranger? Perhaps we passed each other on a weekly basis; just two people sharing the side walk. Do you remember when we found out that your mother and my grandfather were buried in the same cemetery, twelve bouquets of flowers apart? You visited her every Sunday before church. I visited him every Sunday after church. I wonder how many times we stood in the used bookstore on the corner of Pine, flipping through a book we knew we weren’t going to buy. 

You said if it weren’t for coffee, we never would have met.

I’m not sure if I believe that though. I believe that soul mates are always crossing paths, because if two people are meant to know each other, they will find a way to meet. The period of your life that you meet them decides what they will be to you: a lover, friend or mentor. Maybe we only meet them when we are meant to. Maybe I could have been introduced to you a dozen times last Winter and we would have still parted as strangers, struggling to remember the others full name. 

Perhaps we find our soul mates when we are able to fully appreciate their presence. Or maybe I’m wrong, and if it weren’t for the fact you wanted coffee we never would have met. Maybe my face would never have caught your eye. Maybe you would always been on the 7:30 bus, while I waited faithful for the 7:45. Maybe we would have never crossed paths. 

I don’t believe that though.

I believe we have met over and over again, waiting for the day when we would meet and it would matter. 

The world passes by in a blur of colors.
Headlights acting as lighthouses,
Streetlights acting as nightlights.
Moonlight setting a glow to the pavement
That makes the broken glass shimmer.
Fragments of metal splayed across the four lane
Like trinkets dropped by toddlers.
Cars tip toeing around the mess.
Screams echo over
a symphony of radios.
Oil and blood paint the concrete
Like graffiti—
Creating hidden messages
that will be washed away
With bleach.

We stood by the ocean. He held my hand as though it were an after thought, like a pair of keys he forgot he was holding. The wind blew my dress up to my thighs, but I was too young to know about modesty. We watched the waves rush to meet the shoreline; my breathing was in sync with the oceans. 
Inhale, exhale. 
Inhale, exhale. 
“Do you know what insanity is?” He asked.
Inhale, exhale.
“I think so.”
“What do you think it is?”
“Doing something over and over and over again.” I answered 
Inhale, exhale. 
I watched as the ocean kissed the shore and wondered why the beach never kissed back. 
“Are you insane?” I asked. 
Inhale, exhale. 
Inhale, exhale. 
“I’ll let you know.”

Fireflies are forgotten
When morning comes,
Melodies are reduced
To careless hums.
Loving you—
Is nothing like that.

Sometimes the doors
Don’t open any more.
Windows break
But you still can’t escape.
Loving you—
Is nothing like that.

Dew loves fiercely,
The nights warm air,
Blossoms in winter,
Are lovely and rare.
Dawn escapes
From the mornings’ ashes
And rests over salted stares.
Fingers tangle in woven grasses
Kisses freeze in midnight air—
Loving you is that and more,

These scars are from the night
I ripped out the stitches
That he sewed into my smile.
There from those moments
When your laughter
Made me grin so much
Happiness could rest on my cheeks.

A hopeless romantic who thinks love’s key;
He claims he just wants people to be happy.
Cupid is the excuse that people use
For putting up with neglect and abuse.
An irresponsible adolescent
Who believes all love should be incessant—
Cupid is a reckless alcoholic
Who doesn’t know when to stop taking shots
It’s time to put down the arrows, kid.
And let impossible loves be lost.

I will write you into my heart.
Graffiti your name on the walls
As a reminder
That anything can be art.

If I made my soul a tangible thing,
Maybe you would capture it in a jar
Just so you could watch it flutter its wings,
Against glass bars.

I wrote you this pitiful note
Because You and writing makes me better.
Just a warning before you continue;
Don’t expect anything terribly clever.

I’m glad you love me enough,
To call me a snazzy bitch.
I am also a Canadian Leprechaun,
Who likes to talk like a Brit.

I would chose you over Higgins!
For my love is unconditional…
And because, as we both know,
The lovely man is fictional.

When I walk away,
I do it to bring us closer.
I’m glad you don’t act like your cousin.
‘Cause his girl, well he kinda choked her.

You are the only person,
Whose gotten me in trouble on a bench…
You are also the only person,
Who cannot say no in French.

Your brother fell on a girl,
Now they have two kids…
I couldn’t think of anything that rhymed here,
(But let’s pretend I did.)

I know you think you have,
The body heat of a bear
This statement makes me laugh,
So hard that people stare.

“Oh look! It’s a gymnosperm specimen!”
I’m not sure why that makes you laugh
But I’ll keep saying it to make you happy,
‘cause you’re my better half.

Wow, this note was like frolicking,
Through an overgrown corn field.
Oh well, sometimes speaking in rhyme,
Is the only way I can say how I feel

And So my significant other,
I love you more than you’ll ever know,
Please stay for a little longer,
For I’d hate to see you go.

We hold the preciousness of the moment
In this empty parking lot of good-byes.
Between us are various components
That won’t let us admit what we’ve denied.
Even though we’re leaving for the last time,
I know our hearts will always be calling—
And until I run out of thoughts or rhyme,
I will write things to keep me from falling.
Sometimes I tell myself it wasn’t real;
But we both know I’m not someone to trust
There are times when I lie awake and feel
The physical space that was between us—
I suppose this will always be my curse;
I’ll love you as long as you say it first.